I wish I could be a Baptist

I like it when I hear Baptists preach about Being Born Again, and I love it when they talk about

eternal life which once born into can never be lost no matter what we do.

I really need assurance especially when I am sick, or feeling low.

I am about 95% convinced that they are right and once you become "born again"

you can never lose your salvation and there is no condemnation

unless you allow the devil to condemn you, but God and Jesus do not condemn you.

I am guilty of condemning myself. I hate sin and when I sin, I beat myself up,

or spend time rationalizing what I did. I feel very uncomfortable and fearful. I always have.

The Baptists say that is just your sinful flesh and it will act up until you die.

Well it certainly has been acting up my whole life and I am closer to 70 than 20.

I wonder if Baptists really feel no condemnation???

But there is a major stumbling block for me with the Baptists and that is their extreme patriotism

and willingness to fight in their country's wars. To me that is so incongruous with

the call by Jesus to be as harmless as doves.

I say I am 95% in agreement with their salvation stand, but there are the nagging scriptures about

building your house on the sand by not doing what Jesus taught. I hear Jesus saying

" why do you call me Lord Lord and do not do what I said to do?"

The Baptists say you can deny Jesus and still be saved. Jesus said if you deny him,

he will deny you before the angels. I can't quite close that 5% gap. But I would like to. Sometimes that 5%

like a door left open a crack on a cold winter night, can send a chill through me.

I want to believe that no one including myself can pluck me out of the Father's hands. Jesus did say:

John 10:29 "My Father, which gave them to me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. "